A little bit of time has gone by since Chester Bennington’s suicide so talking about it now may seem passe or old news but I needed time to digest and process. When I heard the news I was shocked like most people but didn’t think it would affect me much…well, it did. Yes, I’m a fan of Linkin Park and have been since Hybrid Theory but the loss of my musical brother triggered a million thoughts raging through my head.

One thing that stood out in my mind was that the demons in your head are real and we all have them. I’ve been drawn into the darkness and tapped into a realm of creativity that was both scary & fascinating. The deeper I went, the harder it was to turn back. Once the vault was opened, a torrent of thoughts and ideas poured out and I couldn’t write them all down fast enough. I wanted to completely let go but I forced myself to come back because I knew I would never return had I remained.

I’m not going to go into some long dissertation about why Chester Bennington committed suicide because it’s complicated and quite frankly, it’s not my place to speculate or judge. What this did do for me was remind me of the place I had been before and that I have the power to control it. I have to because no matter how dangerous it can be, I am still enticed by it.

Let’s just hope that people aren’t stupid enough to treat this as the next “cool thing” to do because Chester did it and Chris Cornell did it. It’s not cool and guess what…no one will remember you or even care. You’re no Chester Bennington. If you’re that “f”-ed up, go get help. Or if you know someone who is, get help for them. That’s the human thing to do.

I was watching YouTube videos of Linkin Park’s last couple of concerts and when Chester went into the audience you saw how he touched the souls of those fans fortunate enough to be that close while he sang. Just look at the expressions on their faces…that says it all. The universe lost a great talent and I feel the loss…as a musician and a fan, he touched my soul too.